Did you know that we are all suffering of hidden secrets? Every relatives can give their best, sometimes it is easier to avoid discussions or questions. People think we should not talk about past actions. However I have realized that we will get it anyway.
Last year I met a 18 years’ old girl at the train station. Melinda used to suffer of headache. Without asking, she showed me on her iPhone a video of a woman. Immediately I realized they had the same smile, the same attitude and the same way of speech. It was obviously her mum.
I raise now the question of DNA. Not the one we all know (they could have the same eyes, that is not my point), but the one about feelings and education. Does the attitude of parents influence children? My answer is YES.
Freud used to say that body symptoms are a way to tell our known issues but also the hidden ones. Merinda did all the medical tests possible and all went fine. Doctors finally said it was caused by stress. What a frustration for her! She still had the pain but no solution. I was a complete stranger. Why did she show immediately a video of her mum? She could have talked about her boyfriend or the bachelor she was fighting for? After 10 minutes she confessed it was her step mother she had been raised by. Her mum ran away when she was a baby. She learnt it few months earlier and all of a sudden it became crystal clear. She had another challenge to handle but Melinda had no more headache.
How possible? These two women look so similar. I could have bet it.
Simply because genetics is partly influenced by emotions. Words are magical and so is the body language. Children imitate their peers, and understand delicate situations.
How can we handle it? Should we always say the truth? I can’t decide. We all face couple and families issues. We try to protect as much as we can the one we love but let’s also try honesty with easy words. It would be a short-term impact only. Secrets can unbalanced a life.
I advised Merinda she should not feel guilty about these confidences. Parents make (bad and good) choices. They are humans with feelings and so is she. She will find a way to forgive and balance her young life. Melinda started seeing a psychologist and tried hypnosis with a colleague of mine. I thank her for this accepting this article and send my best regards.